A Story in 26 parts - P

“Please - let’s have some quiet…. where’s Merlin?  Where’s Arthur” Cried Rashmir.
“You - Apple-under-the-orchard - what have you done with them?”

“Me?” David replied “Nothing - honest!”

“Actually” piped up Michael from the back (glad I introduced him earlier - frog) “I think I may be able to help.  That smell - it’s funny but my neighbour next door gives off the same odour.  I thought it was some kind of favourite food that they had - you know these Spartanites, they do like their fish - but this was more… well, garlicy.  It had a certain ‘gach!’ at the back of the throat - you know?” At that point Michael made a coughing and gagging show.  Rashmir looked at Bernice, and both girls turned and giggled. “Anyway, I meant to say something.  This weather plays havoc with my arias - I sing you know, mostly musical numbers, but… any hoo… last week it was the strangest thing.  I noticed that the doors of the hut were open and so were the windows - oh, the smell, it was dreadful!  Anyway, I was going to do some dusting, but the smell was really too much, so I went to go and have a word, when Mr Baggins happened by.  I always say good morning to Mr Baggins and so I turned and said ‘good morning Mr Baggins’ and he saw me and said..”

“Shut up you blithering idiot and get to the point”.  Arthur was looking stern.

“No, silly.  Mr Baggins said ‘and good morning to you’. And I said ‘isnt it a nice day’ and Mr Baggins said..”

“ONCE MORE AND I WILL HURT YOU VERY BADLY. GET TO THE POINT”

“Oh, grief and heavens to Betsy! I was just about to… just about to carry on my conversation when my neighbour came flying out of the window - and landed in my Petunias! I mean, they had only just come in to flower - oh they did look pretty, so nice at this time of… oh you are so rude. Put down that sword - it looks sharp and might hurt someone.  Anyway, he quickly picked himself up and started to run off.  a big voice boomed out “WE NEED MERLIN AND ALBERT NOW” - actually deeper than yours!”

“DId you see the person behind the voice?” Asked Bernice.

“No I didn’t. Mr Baggins had started to talk to me about the rude man and how he’d damaged my flowers - Mr Baggins said he liked Petunias.  Do you like Petunias, dear?”

Rashmir felt her hackles rising.  “I AM A KALPHITE QUEEN. I AM NOT A DEAR. YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE - AND A DISGRACE TO YOUR UNIFORM.” With that, she turned and winked at Bernice.  Michael on the hand just stood there, realising exactly how useless he’d been.  But then, he thought, I didn’t want to be here anyway.

Bernice, Rashmir and Arthur left the Court.  Sir David trailed after them.  Just as they stepped outside, Aragog and Ernisto stoppped them. “Where you going? Court’s not over yet?”
“Yup” said Arthur “but without a judge, nothing’s happening.  We’ve heard our tales, and with the exception of Ernisto, I think we’re all on the same side.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve unburdened myself from years of torment.  I know I still have to pay for what I’ve done - but why don’t we find Merlin and let his wisdom present me with suitable pennance”

Aragog thought for a moment.

“Yes Arthur. Let’s pause for a while. We know that each of us has to prove themselves trustworthy - but Merlin is our mentor and guide - let’s find him and allow his wisdom to be passed to us. You three will never cover the ground that I can - and I could use additional eyes.  Sit on my back and we can search the lands”

Ernisto sneered “You stupid fools! You will never find them - and I’m not waiting for Merlin to punish me - I’m off!”

Rashmir reached into her bag and pulled out a small linen bag. “Ernisto - you’re not going anywhere.  Behold - I have dragon breath within me” - and with that she blew across the top of the bag.  The dust sparkled as it blew across Ernistos face.  Ernisto coughed - then froze.

“Dragon breath?!” exclaimed Arargog “You have dragon breath?  The powder that freezes dragons breath and renders them immobile for 1,000 years?!”
“Don’t worry” calmed Rashmir “the man that gave me this made me promise I would only use it for good.  When we find Merlin I will entrust it to him and make it safe.  Now fly - I don’t think we have much time left…”

A Story in 26 parts - O

“Okay - let that be a lesson to you all. Please, let’s just get on with an ordered court - can we?  Once we’re done we can get some lunch.”
A general murmur of agreement went round the hall.  Michael wondered if there would be cucumber sandwiches - he did like those, especially with the crusts cut off… (sorry, it’s near lunch and I’m hungry too. Frog)

“Now you - the one with the feather.  I will deal with you when the time is right - which will be after Arthur has told his tale.  Being someone who is immortal, it’s important that we get them to get on with it - otherwise we’ll be here for forever”.  The knight nodded his head… the green skinned one just wondered what this “lunch” thing was.

“Arthur. Please tell your tale.  Not the whole thing - just why Aragog has such a dislike for you.”
Arthur walked round the stone bench, his sword slowly dragged across the rough surface to emphasise that he really was not going to let go of his sword.

“My tale only goes back a few hundred years. Shortly after I had left Merlin’s training camp as a qualified Magician I saught employ with King Dyffedd of the Hills. Dyffedd was a good man, but could be easily hoodwinked by those who sat by his side.  From my time with Merlin I had learned to read Auras so could quickly identify those who saught Dyffedds power for personal gain.  I identified some of these people to the king, but his eyes and judgement had been clouded by these men - and they turned Dyffedd against me.  As a “punishment” they set me a challenge.

“”If you are as wise and clever as you say you are” said the advisers “you should be able to retrieve the golden chalice that is held by the Dragon of Erinmore”  They knew that this would be certainly result in my death - for popular heresay had told tales of knights seeking their fortunes, only to be killed by the Dragon”.

Merlin interrupted.  “The dragon - is this Aragog?”
Arthur replied,
“Yes sir.  I left the king’s side - but before I did I cast a protection spell to protect the King so that no mortal harm could come to the king by another man until I returned.  I then walked out from the castle walls.  I slept by the crystal lakes, using the fir tree branches as bedding and walked during  the day until I finally arrived at the cave entrance.  All around the entrance were the remains of bodies that I had assumed were the knights.  I waited for days until I was certain that I could plan my entrance to the cave.  Of course, my size was always going to be an issue - I’m not a small person.  Anyway, when the sun reached the hottest part of the day - when dragons sleep the most soundest - I crept into the cave.  My eyes quickly adapted to the dark, and I could see Aragog… more importantly, I could see the chalice.  As I crept forward to pick up the item Aragog opened one eye and saw me.  Although groggy, Aragog raised himself up and breathed fire all about.”

“You stole the Chalice!”  Cried Aragog “My chalice! Mine!”

“Aragog, I have done a great many things I am not proud of.  I had intended to return the chalice after the challenge - the kings councillors had said nothing about keeping it.  However, the fire burned my face and my skin, so I ran from the cave and dived straight into the crystal waters.  What I did not know at the time was that Dragon’s breath contains a great many crystals - and these had burned into my skin - including Tourmaline.  When I dived into the crystal clear lake the cool waters had caused my skin to rapidly contract with the cold - and the Tourmaline had set into my skin.  This is why I now have a blue appearance.”

“So what happened to MY Chalice?” Said Aragog. “You just said you were going to return it!”

“I returned to the King and presented him with the Chalice.  His advisers called me a trickster a cheat and many other things.  They said that I could not have stolen the chalice and lived.  In front of my face, they broke the Chalice into 2 pieces - as the chalice split it disappeared into dust.  They all knew at that point that I had not lied - and that King Dyffedd knew if I hadn’t lied about this, then I would not have lied about them either.  If you recall I set a spell to protect the King until I returned.  They knew that - and whilst one adviser distracted me the other took my sword and swiftly beheaded the King.  I could bear this no more.  I dealt immediate revenge on the advisers - save one, who I cast a truth spell so that all would know what had happened.  I then left the castle, never to return.

“So that’s my tale.  That’s why Aragog is rightly angry with me - and Aragog, why I was unable to meet my promise, something that has haunted me for years.  Merlin, you are wise - what is it for me?”

Merlin stroked his beard.

“I think I can make a decision - but first I want to hear from the knight.  Sir - please engage the court with your tale”

The knight stood and turned to the court….
[CONTRIBUTORS: What is the knights tale?]

A Story in 26 parts - N

“NOW STAND STILL”
The voice of Merlin rang round the Hall.  Everybody froze.
“RETURN TO YOUR SEATS. NOW”
Merlin stood, his body shaking with anger.

“You asked me to conduct this court – and that’s what I will do.  As soon as anyone starts anything, my justice from now on will be swift and sure – and most probably Fatal.  Ernisto – you learned from me, as did Albert and Arthur – however even at your strongest you will never beat me in magic. Just don’t try.  I have lived more years than the standing stones of Stonehenge, and have seen more seasons than the Great Woods of Sartogos.”

“What I cannot explain is how one hooded person has become two – a skeleton and a dragon – both one and at the same time”

Rashmir raised her hand.

“Approach, Rashmir” said Merlin.

“Merlin and council.  I don’t believe that the issue is that the one body has become two – I have seen this happen many times before.  When the Spartanites first approached us they had a single form – it makes them seem less dangerous – but they can quickly split and become two.  Rolisa said her day began in Chaos – and I think she meant it.  Ernisto used the power of Chaos to absorb himself into Rolisa’s body – but the power of his magic quickly drained the body and left the skeleton that you see here.”

Ernisto sneered. “But there’s nothing you can do now…. I have drained her of everything.  She is now nothing.”

Merlin raised his hand – and all fell silent.

“I will make my first judgement now.  Rolisa – you have been caught up in something that you could not understand or comprehend.  Whilst Ernisto has drained you of some power I can feel that there is still enough left that I can work with.  Please stand in the centre of the hall.”

Rolisa walked carefully to the centre.  Suddenly a blue swirling mist drew round the skeleton, slowly engulfing it.  Then like a raised curtain it dropped to the ground – and she was gone.  All the Spartanites sat on the benches around the hall murmured (and one or two quietly clapped).

“What’s happened to her?” asked Aragog.

“She’s back with her family Aragog. She played no part in your crimes.  Ernisto however…. Ernisto, you have explained your part in all this.  I have now heard from Aragog and Ernisto.  I now need to hear from Arthur.  Arthur – stand up and explain yourself.”

Arthur rose to his feet.  He looked across at Aragog, and then slowly at Ernisto.   The two dragons by the side of Ernisto hissed, then withdrew to the benches behind.  The Spartanites moved up to let them sit down.
With a very slow, deliberate movement, Arthur drew his broadsword – and laid it upon the bench in front of him.

“We will not have more fighting in this court” said Merlin
“Aye Merlin” agreed Arthur “however my fighting master told me that whilst we work for peace we must be prepared for war.  Having seen what has happened here – even knowing the powers I have and you have – I do not trust the two dragons beside me.  With your permission, I will leave my sword here to recognise that I do not mean harm, but that I do not trust the peace of the court to remain.”

“These are warriors words” said Merlin “and I will acknowledge them.  Within the peace of this court – please recount your tale.”

Arthur cleared his throat – and his voice rang out as he started to tell his story…….

A Story in 26 parts - M

Merlin stopped.  He turned slowly (luckily there was a big enough gap between him and the charging Spartanites).
“STOP THERE” He commanded.
Aragog stopped in front of Merlin.
The Spartanites also stopped - their swords glinting in the sun.  The arrows stopped mid flight, then fell to the ground.

Bernice, Albert, Rashmir, Arthur and the hooded figure slowed and stopped.  They then turned.
Merlin was nose to nose with Aragog.

“Look at your comrades” said Merlin.  He pointed at the column of water, still swirling and bulging.  “You kill us, you will never rescue your comrades.  they will be trapped in the column of water until the Ices of Hades descend once more and cover this kingdom and freeze that water to slow it.  If you have a problem, I have found that killing people is not the solution; talking first is always a positive step.”

Aragog’s nostrils flared. “You are with him… and him.” Aragog waived at Arthur and the hooded man “They are enemies of Aragog.  They did not talk.  They stole the very precious things from me.  They killed my family. You say talk, but your friends don’t do that.”
Merlin turned to the two men “Is this true?”.  They both noded slowly.

Merlin turned back to Aragog.  “Aragog.  I cannot allow you to exact revenge on these two men… at this time.  I cannot allow you to mindlessly kill others… at this time.   We must proceed in proper fashion.  Under the rules from the Grey Book of Henthras we will hold court.” 
Aragog nodded and Merlin raised his hands.  Suddenly great columns of sandstone rose from the ground, joining up in arches  twenty feet in the air.  The grass and ground shook as within the columns sandstone benches and tables forced themselves through the earth.  Arthur and the hooded man found themselves standing in their own docks - Bernice, Albert, Rashmir felt themselves move to seats to one side of the circular stone court that had appeared.  to the other side, Aragog sat on a wide slab of sandstone, his warriors on tiered  benches.  Merlin rose on a sandstone column, about 2metres square.
“I, Merlin, Guardian of time and order, Keeper of the mysteries of this land, will preside over this court.  I will follow the rules written down by Centra into the Grey Book of Henthras which have been used since trees first appeared on this earth.  Justice and revenge will be passed down on this day.  Any disagreement on the sentence that I pass will meet with swift and just result. Aragog - please tell me your claim upon these two men.”

Aragog rose.  He explained that his family of three dragons had lived in peace on the lands to the West.  The land was peaceful with man existing with dragon for many centuries.  He explained that over the years, new men had arrived from other shores and had wanted to take over more of the Dragon Lands - forcing the dragons to occupy smaller and smaller lands.  Finally Aragog said, there just wasn’t enough space to live and hunt as they had before - so they started to push back.  The men had become angry and had killed the smallest of the family - the head being displayed on the castle wall.
“Those men had no reason to taunt us like that” said Aragog.  His wife had exacted revenge on the men that had killed her son, silently flying over the town and identifying the huts that the men had lived in.  She then flew in low and with strong claw had destroyed those houses.  Aragog was quick to say that no man had been harmed by his wife… except the old washerman who had seen the dragon fly in.  He was so frightened that his heart had given out.  This was the signal the men had used to kill his wife.  “THAT MAN” said Aragog, pointing at Arthur “That man had dealt the fatal blow.”

Aragog then went onto explain that in wrath and fury he had then exacted a full and comprehensive revenge.  His wife and child were both now dead - so he killed every man in that village.  Once the bodies had lain there the crows and ravens picked the bones clean.  Aragog said that he had then cleared a space in the centre of the town and had not moved from that spot for sixty years “Until he arrived” -pointing at the hooded man.  The hooded man had come across an empty town, and had moved from building to building, stealing what he could find - until he had arrived at the centre of the town.  By that point Aragog explained, he had started to find different spaces in the town to rest - and had decided to sleep in front of the Great Hall.  Aragog said that he had heard some movement and had opened an eye - but quickly shut it as an arrow struck the eyelid “Luckily dragons scales can withstand arrows”.  However, the hooded man then attempted to stick his sword into him.
“At that point I’d had enough.  I raised myself and roared.  This man ran off - and I chased him.  I just caught up with him here and now… and I coul only presume that he was with him - and that they had come back to finish the job”

Arthur stood up - but Merlin waved him down.  “You will have your turn” said Merlin. Merlin turned back to Aragog. “Aragog, from what you have told me and what I know already would seem to indicate that these are two separate incidents.  However, I promised I would be fair and just.  The story you have told requires me to hear from these two fellows - and then I will give my decision.  You -” said Merlin to the hooded figure “yours seems to be the more recent tale, so I will hear you first.  So I can pass proper judgement, you need to give me your name and your story”.

The hooded figure rose and drew back his hood…

[Note to Scouts wanting to join in on the thread, but aren't sure what to write:

At this point, imaging the Great Hall, one of the Spartanite soldiers, brought forward by Aragog. Sandstone columns and other warriors are all around you.  In front of you a court is being held - a strange court which seemed to be created from nothing.  The judge is a man of obvious power - although in Jeans and T-shirt it does seem a little at odds with that.

So, you're sitting and waiting.  What are you thinking about?  What's your tale? How did you become a warrior? Do you have a family?  Just remember, you need to start the first word with the letter "M"]

A Story in 26 parts - L

“Look at you!” said Albert “Merlin, come off it – pointed hat? Glasses? Are you off to a fancy dress party?!”

Merlin laughed hard and heartily, and with a small bow he changed before everyone’s eyes, appearing as an old, wizened man, with a long beard and long ponytail, black jeans and black cowboy boots.  His “Wizzard Tour T-shirt” was covered in a black leather waistcoat. “that’s better” said Merlin. “I always like to initially appear like that – it’s sort of expected I guess.  So, how’s my favourite student doing these days?”

“I’m fine thanks” chorused Arthur and Albert together.

“Okay – to business.” Said Merlin. “I can’t just drain the kingdom – my personal oath is ‘And if it Harms None, do what you will’.  If I was to drain the kingdom I would most surely kill the Spartanites and the Aquanauts – and it could also seriously harm the Elves that have been changed. What we could do though….”

The next morning, a small group gathered by the side of the lake.  Merlin tapped the water with his Ash stave causing a blue glow at the end of the stick.  Shortly the Spartanite and Aquanuat kings stood by the water. The saw Albert and their eyes glowed with hatred.  They frowned at the Kalphite Queen.  Their eyes softened slightly at seeing Bernice and they were a bit bemused at the large blue man standing behind them all.

“And how can we help you?” asked the Spartanite.
“Well” said Merlin, “I’d quite like you to go away.  Would you mind?”
“Hmm – well, we’d love to, but I’ve got a spa treatment booked for early next week.  Would you mind coming back in about, well, never?” And the Spartanite and Aquanauts laughed.  Merlin laughed too – then his face drew to a serious look, his eyes boring into the Spartanites head.

“I need to you to say that you would kill the Elves if we attempted to remove you forcefully.”
“Now, why would I say that, oh great Merlin?  We all know about your oath. So no – we won’t kill them.  You will kill them. They need the water to breath now. So we’re sort of staying… and there’s nothing you can do about it. Nerr”

“No one says nerr to Merlin” Said Arthur… then realised how very silly that sounded.  At the top of a nearby hill, a small man on a donkey appeared.

“Okay” said Merlin “I can’t kill you.  I would however suggest that you pack whatever personal belongings you have – you will be leaving by the end of the day.  Toodle pip”.  With that, Merlin turned. He saw the small man at the top of the hill, and with his fingers made a small flicking action.  The man on the hill suddenly fell of the donkey.  They all heard the swearing.
“Just in case you thought my powers were all bluff.  Pack. Now. You have until 3pm.”  And Merlin and the small gang walked off.
The time passed slowly.  Arthur, Albert and Merlin swapped tales about the old days.  Bernice and Rishma (the Kalplhite Queen) talked about attack tactics for the modern woman.
At the stroke of 3pm, Merlin stood up.  He picked up a cup and filled it with water.  He raised the glass to the East, the South, the West and the North. Placing it carefully on the ground, he made a circle with the Ash stick. He then carefully laid the stick in the ground and saying a few careful words raised the cup once more.  From his waistcoat he pulled a small wand – a stick of Oak with a purple crystal in the end.  Dipping the crystal into the water he started to stir – all the while staring at the Elfin Kingdom.

All the others looked – the waters started to move, slowly at first then faster, drawing up into the air, like a tornado.  Soon, a column of swirling water stood in the centre of the kingdom.  Merlin drew the wand out from his cup – the water standing in the same column in the cup – and carefully put the wand away.
“Pass me the Clover Stone Albert” said Merlin – and Albert hurriedly dug it out and gave it to him.
“Hold the cup carefully – don’t spill any of it”.  Bernice carefully took the cup.
Merlin put the clover stone on the ground, and with a carefully aimed boot, broke it into several pieces.
Everyone gasped – luckily Bernice remembered her task, and shook the water, but didn’t spill it.
Merlin bent down and picked up a small black crystal, released from the stone.  He then took back the cup from Bernice.  Holding the stone over the water, he let go – and the crystal was sucked straight in.

The next thing that the group noticed was that the tall column of water started to sway and bulge….

A Story in 26 parts - K

Knee deep in mud, Albert was not as pleased as he had been to see Ivor.

“Oh, watch out, it’s a little muddy round here” said Ivor.

“Hmm.” replied Albert. “So, then, what’s all this?”

“Oh, we’re just waiting for the return of the Mud People, and we can then go to lunch!”

“The Mud People?” asked Albert.  “Yes – look!” said Ivor. 

Just then, three brown creatures appeared from behind the bush, talking animatedly about something.  They looked human, but there was no skin, just a wet, brown covering.

“Are they Spartanite, Aquanaut – or just another cross-species?” asked Albert

“Well, I’ve had my doubts about them” smiled Ivor “but I suspect their parents will be the Cross Species – especially when that load of clothing wrecks the washing machines!  You guys – where have you been?”

“We’ve been on the mud slide” grinned one of the Mud People. “You really should give it a go!”

“Come on” said Ivor, “Lunch!”“Yay!” exclaimed the Mud People.“Do you want to come as well Albert? I’ve got a spare ticket”

“Oh, yes please – I haven’t eaten anything proper in ages” said Albert. Soon Albert had been introduced properly to the Mud People – and to some of the others – and had eaten well.  The Scouts quickly finished their meals and after asking, disappeared off back into the woods.  Albert thanked Ivor for his hospitality – and left Ivor with some others to plan their next adventure.

Walking back across the fields, Ivor noticed where the Mud People were congregating.“That looks like fun” thought Albert, “I’m sure they won’t mind if I have a go”. Starting at the top of the hill, Albert took a proper run at the top of the slope, and lept forward.  His body hit the wet mud and he started to slide faster and faster, past all the Mud People who were cheering and clapping.  Ahead, he could see a small bump, where the others had stopped, so he braced himself ready to come to a stop… but no! He had gathered so much speed that the bump launched him high up into the air – he could feel his legs starting to flip over his head – but then he started to head downwards – towards a large rabbit hole!

He shot into the hole – but rather than stop he continued to slide down, down and round, round.  This was a slide like no other – nothing to hang onto, nothing to stop the slide.  With the mud still on his body, he just travelled faster and faster… until he saw a light up ahead and within a couple of seconds he shot through the hole and out into a lush green fern bush, which neatly caught him and stopped the slide. 

Looking up, he could feel a warm sun beating down on him.  Looking round, apart from the green bush behind him, there was nothing really around that looked like anywhere he had been before.  It certainly wasn’t the Kalphite or Elfin Kingdom – this was much drier, rockier, and more baren than anywhere else he had known.

“I don’t think I’ll be getting home today” thought Albert. 

Just then a large Albatross swooped over Albert.  “You need to head from here” said the Albatross. “Where?” said Albert.  “This way” said the Albatross – and turned towards the sun. “You need to get to shelter quickly before the sun really starts to get warm”.  Albert set off, following the Albatross towards the sun…

A Story in 26 parts - J

(continued from the comments in the last section) 

Just then a large object obscured the sky.  It seemed to wobble a bit, before making great sweeps across the landscape. 

“It’s the lawyers – editing the story!” they all cried and all started to run around.  Then they heard a whistle – and a small man in a grey suit appeared, riding on the back of a Llama.

“Who are you” said Albert.

“Ivor Problem” said the man in the grey suit.

“You certainly have” laughed Albert “everyone knows that the Llama gives the most uncomfortable ride.  Don’t worry, I’ve got some cream in my bag”

“No – my name is Ivor Problem.  I am the Story Auditor.  I have noticed that this story has started to get – well, silly and has started to introduce very silly characters into what could be quite an interesting story.  Okay, it isn’t that good, but then you just need to look at the writers….”

“Okay” said Albert “what’s going to happen?”

“Well” replied Ivor “Above your head is a giant eraser.  Any character in the story that is silly, or just not supposed to be there will be erased. And that includes YOU” he said, pointing at Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I’ll be back” said Arnold, and walked off again.

“Okay – but who stays and who goes?” said the Kalphite Queen, subtly rubbing her hips on the eraser to make herself just a little thinner.

“Well, I have developed a solution for that” said Ivor.  “You need to show me how to tie a Friendship knot – and six other knots – and you can stay”

“But I can’t tie knots” said one of the Kalphite Warriors. 

“Goofy (quack), you can (quack) tie knots – show him” Said Donald.  Goofy stepped up.  Three knots down – and then disaster.

“This isn’t a Round Turn and two half hitches – this is a thumbknot; You’re out” and with a single sweep, Goofy was reduced to a small black trace of rubber.  Donald looked confused, then fell over. “You’ve rubbed out my feet!” he cried.

“Quick” said Arthur “get rid of him so he can’t complain…” and WHOOSH!  Donald disappeared too.

Bugs Bunny produced a large plastic bag.  He ripped open the top to reveal a Supersized ACME black hole – and with a small bound lept through “You won’t get me!!” he cried.  The other cartoon characters then jumped after him.  Porky pig walked to the edge and lowered himself in.  As he disappeared, he called out “            T-T-T-T-That’s all folks!”

Ivor then walked up to the hole, and with the giant eraser wiped it off.

“Right that’s that” he said. “If the story goes like this again, I will be back…..”

“Oi! That’s my line!” shouted Arnold Scwarzenegger

“… with some really difficult challenges – like getting across a huge canyon, with only a kipper”

“Have you thought of joining the Scouts?” Asked Albert.

“My Scout leader was like that” said Ivor.  “I sometimes wonder why I am the way I am”.  And with that he swung his leg over his Llama.

“Oh Albert – if you have that cream now….”

The Kalphite Queen turned back to her army.  “So you’re on their side now then?”

Arthur stepped forward. 

“Look your majesty, I guess it’s like this.  Your men will follow you anywhere – except to kill me. So how about a compromise.  Why don’t you work with us – once the Elfin Kingdom is returned I Arthur, ruler of Great Lands will ensure that you and your people are properly protected.”

“Oh, go on then” said the Queen.

“Great” said Albert “Let’s go an drain the kingdom – before the Spartanites get to hear about this…..

Joel’s poem

Dragon

Cold red diamond scales,
Claws harder than chain mail.
Jaws filled with iron teeth ,
With the smell of burnt meat.
Humungous bat like wings,
Eyes like ruby rings .
A triangular tail as sharp as a sword,
Sitting on its golden horde.
Lying, waiting in its rocky cell,
Is a giant monster from hell!

 by Joel Kelly.

A Story in 26 parts - I

(continued from Joshua’s comment in the “H” part of the story. See how this works?) 

…. Indigo coloured warrior.  He stood proud and tall, his metal helmet still glinting with the tin and bronze that formed around his head (although it did have one or two earth clods stuck to it).  In one hand, he held a broadsword, a might weapon that lesser men would have struggled to hold in two hands, let alone just the one; in the other hand he held a deeply engraved hammer.

“Who dares disturb my sleep?” said the giant.

“She did!” said just about everyone, pointing at the Kalphite Queen and Bernice in equal measure (it’s a well known fact that Kalphite people will use any excuse to save their own souls).

“Bernice? Is that you?” said the warrior, peering down.  Bernice stared back – this was just too strange for her.
“Well – are you going to introduce us?” said Albert, realising that his own sword would have little more effect than a pin on this man.

“Of course, of course “ Bernice, shook her head to wake herself up. “This is Arthur”
“Arthur?” laughed Albert “Arthur? Oh come on now, you really must do better than that… who are you? Really, who are you?”

“I AM ARTHUR” said the warrior, squaring back his shoulders and stiffening his grip on his sword.  Albert realised that perhaps taunting wasn’t the best thing he could have done.  But Arthur quickly looked at Bernice, smiled, and lessened his grip and softened slightly.  “I have also be known as THOR, HERACLES and as BEOWULF; but I prefer Arthur… it sounds less pretentious”
“Okay”, said Albert “Then Arthur… what were you doing underground then?”
“Well it’s the pact I made with the greatest of all Magi, Methryn – sorry, Merlin – that once I’d completed a task to somehow protect people, or strengthen them I would sleep deep underground.  I would be awoken when the Yew Horn was blown three times”

“I didn’t blow a horn” said Albert. “I didn’t hear a horn either.  So has your alarm clock batteries gone duff on you?”

“I summoned you” said Bernice.  She explained the problem, the Clover stone, the water – and to the group she explained why she couldn’t just move the water here.  Everyone nodded that it had been a good thing – making Arthur annoyed would never have worked out best for anyone.
“My socks would have got wet” said Arthur “and that makes me really grouchy.”
“ENOUGH” cried the Kalphite Queen.  “Albert, I demanded the Clover stone and with some fancy powder you handed me a rock.  Now hand it over – or prepare to die”
“Oh, come on” said Albert “you’ve got to realise that I won’t hand it over.  This is something which in yours hands will bring nothing but trouble. Bernice, let’s go – Arthur, if you like you can come too – we’ve some people to save”

The trio made three steps forward, when WHUMPF! Arthur crashed to the ground.  The Kalphite Queen sniggered. “Oh, Arthur I forgot to mention.  In your sleep we chained you to the White Dragon – so you can’t leave unless you break the chain or take the Dragon with you.  But, of course, if you unearth the White Dragon then this will waken the Red Dragon…. And then it will just get silly.  Again. Like last time. But this time – well, you’ll be seen to be one side instead. And as for you too..” she turned on Albert and Bernice “I guess you’ll be staying for tea as well..?”
 

A Story in 26 parts - H

“Hang on” whispered Albert, “I’ll throw you a rope”

Bernice was sitting within a vertical shaft, staring up at Albert. 

As they had approached the campsite of the Kalphites, the tiredness had caught up with them, and without thinking Bernice had triggered the trap and had fallen down the hidden shaft.  Fortunately, Albert and Bernice had established a pattern of one walking in front of the other - so if one got caught with something the other would be able to react.
Albert uncurled the Vine rope from around him and lowered it down.  For once, Albert was glad that he wasn’t dealing with one of his other colleagues but an Elf, because he wasn’t really sure how much weight the rope would take.

As Bernice dragged herself over the lip of the shaft, she could hear the rustling of the bushes.  They both tensed, hands on swords ready.

“Who are you that dares to enter my kingdom?” cried the Kalphite Queen.
“I am Albert, vision questor” he replied, drawing himself up to full ankle height to the Queen, who emerged through the bushes with about 30 soldiers following.  “oh - and this is Bernice… a very good friend of mine”.
Bernice went to say something, but Albert quickly hushed her.

“And what do you want with my kingdom?” sounded the Queen.

“Hmm. I need your help” replied Albert
“Why should we help you?”

Albert explained the Spartanites, the Aquanauts and the flooded Elfin kingdom. He pointed out the sheer cliff walls that surround the Kalphite kingdom, the areas where the blockages would be filled up, the places where they would lose control… and the flying Spartanite.  A cruel smile spread across the Kalphite Queen.
“Oh yes, the flying Spartanite.  Particularly impressed with that bit of work.  The Aquanauts and Spartanites approached us before they flooded the kingdom…. but we, err, persuaded them not to progress their watery domination.  So instead, we agreed to help them.  We had heard that the Elfin Kingdom was looking to expand onto our areas (Bernice started to twitch, so Albert stamped on her feet) and we just couldn’t let that happen.

“So you let the Elf king and queen drown? After all their help to you?” enquired Albert.
“Well, that was business” said the Kalphite Queen.  “My crops have been dry for the last few years, and the Aquanauts showed how I could properly irrigate my crops.  We have never eaten so well”
“But at the expense of my friends” exclaimed Albert.
Albert stood up.  He could stand this no longer.  He had hoped that this tribe would have helped him - but instead, he had discovered that they had been turned.  He started to pick up his equipment, when a small snuffling sound made him turn.  They had Bernice!  One of the Kalphites held his dagger at her throat, and with his other arm trapped Bernice completely.

“You idiot” said the Kalphite Queen “You, Albert had hoped to come into my grounds, with an Elfin Princess, to gain dry grounds for the Elfin people.  The spartanites were right - you can’t be trusted.  Well now, we have your travelling companion, so you seem to be under our control now.  I believe that you have something which we need…. a Clover Stone, perhaps?” and thin, spindly fingers with long fingernails uncurled towards Albert.  Bernice shook her head, but winked at Albert.

Albert slowly reached into his bag

“If I give you this thing that I have my hands on, you’ll let her go?”
“Yes”
“And you’ll release her at the same time?”
“Of course”
“Well, what do you need the stone for?”
“That’s for us to know.  Hand it over”
“On three” said Albert “One.. two.. three!”

And as the Kalphite threw Bernice at Albert, Albert threw a sparkly powder towards the Kalphites. The powder quickly flashed and smoked the clearing
“down… and out that way” hushed Albert at Bernice - and they crawled out of the clearing.  As they cleared the kingdom they could still hear the cries, the wails (and the choking).

“We need to flood the Kalphite plains with the water from the Elfin Kingdom” said Albert.
“I agree” replied Bernice “but why did they think we’d expand into their kingdom?  Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”
“Because it was the truth - the Elf king and I had talked about it as an idea… but that was it.  Obviously we had a spy in the camp… but none of that matters now - we need to get on and drain our lands again”